The fire took my sister and my father. Mother was already gone, I can barely remember her now. I didn’t cry that night and I didn’t cry when father walked out the door and left me. I think I understand why he left. He said that it was because he had to find meaning in it all, but I think he was running away. He ran away because he could not stand to be in the same town where both his wife and daughter had died.
His daughter.
I am also his daughter.
He could not help but be separated from her and yet he chose to separate from me.
Sitting here, allowing myself to ponder all this is hurtful. But pain is part of life and I want to live. I want to live because I have survived. The same illness that claimed my mother’s life and left my sister infirm, I survived it. Somehow father had escaped becoming ill. He did his best to care for us and then when mother was gone and my sister was left weak, I had to join him in caring for her. I wasn’t ready to spend so much time at home and taking care of daily duties. I wanted to continue my carefree days but some things just can’t be helped. Some things must be endured. Some seasons pass and leave us better for the hardship they bring.
I do not intend to marry, nor do I wish for a family. I feel out of place in the world. I feel as if my days have already been spent and that perhaps I should have died instead of my sister. She had suffered enough already and I can’t bear to think how terrible her final moments must have been. I am bereft. I have mourned and now I must live. What purpose is there for me? Do I remain in my home? Is there a greater purpose for me somewhere? What do I have to offer?
– The Champion, yearning for purpose
“Pinnacle” is the working title for a Fantasy novel by Matthew Munoz. The speaker in this passage, “the Champion,” she is one of the principal characters in the story.
MJ Muñoz 